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Roxanne Reviews Getting to Know Death

Feb 3, 2025
2 min read

Roxanne reviews Getting to Know Death by Gail Godwin


Strange how coincidences go, but while reading the novel What Are You Going Through by Sigrid Nunez (another book, this one fiction, that I’d highly recommend about grappling with mortality), I spied the book Getting to Know  Death:  A Meditation by Gail Godwin on our store’s Biography table.  


Death, for me, as I’m sure it is for many, is the elephant in the room that I’d rather not discuss.  Normal, since I enjoy living so much and am blessed with so many loving people and advantages, but as the title states, Getting to Know Death is inevitable.  


The circumstances surrounding Gail Godwin’s (three time National Book Award finalist; 1975, 1980 and 1983) recent book are thus: at 85, she fell attempting to water a dying dogwood tree, breaking her neck. What transpires is a beautiful rendering of a life lived, with pain and suffering that I won’t spoil here, suffice to say she’s dealt with death on many levels.


What I think anyone can appreciate about her book is the tackling of the question; what do you do when faced with circumstances beyond your control that alter your life in such a way that borders on being too much to bear?  What have others done, those famous (Henry James, Samuel Beckett) and not so (her father and half brother) when faced with quality of life compromising occurrences? 


Even more inspiring is Godwin’s gallant grace, accepting what she can and can no longer do, but still fighting to remember and honor what she did accomplish in award-winning books and libretti (co-written with her partner, composer Robert Starer). Godwin sprinkles the memoir with passages of her own and other writers she’s admired, all while gently sharing the unexpected silver linings produced due to her accident. An important tip for those of us slowing down, is to remember what we have accomplished and to cherish those memories.  Getting to Know Death: A Meditation is a solace and elder field guide for people of any age.

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I hadn't heard about Godwin's accident before, so the part about her breaking her neck while watering a tree really stuck with me. I looked up more of her work on Graveyard Keeper 2 Wiki after finishing this, and it gave me a better sense of how much she's written over the years.

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